My attempt to eat healthy has caused me to realize that I start to
imagine myself eating gooey pizza after a few days without a good
grease fix, and my self-imposed ban on masturbation has somehow
turned most of my body into an erogenous zone. It's less fun than
it sounds.
I've been very conflicted about my sexuality for years, but things
are getting even more confused, if that's possible. I'm thinking
I'm bisexual at this point. I was leaning towards thinking I was
only attracted to men but recent events have proven I'm definitely
attracted to women too. I guess it's like that Woody Allen quote.
It could also just be that without masturbating my body is willing
to respond to <i>any</i> kind of stimulation, no matter the gender
of the person causing it.
The last few days have really taught me how it is to control your
body. I don't mean the automatic stuff, like walking and talking
and so on, but the more primal things. It's so difficult to tell
your body that it won't get what it wants, even if it's readily
available.
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